With many clients, including myself, it's common to find ourselves saying things like "I know I should…" or "I am supposed to…" when in reality, the question we should be asking is "who says I should?"
Are you guilty of these common I should statements?
- I should work out more
- I should call my family more
- I should eat more healthy
- I should be more outspoken during meetings
- I should wake up early, so I can get more done
- I should get married
When you catch yourself saying these phrases stop and ask yourself:
- Who says I should? - Is this your expectation? Is this someone else's expectations, perhaps from a family member, friend, co-worker, or society?
- What is really driving this "should" or "supposed to”?
- Is this desire or expectation even REAL?
If the answer is NO, then let it go! It adds negative energy to your life. Release it. These unrealistic expectations create unreasonable demands and pressure, making you feel negative emotions like guilt, anger, or embarrassment. What’s the benefit of that?
A recent example is a client saying, "You know, I should really learn to play golf." I immediately asked, "who says you should? what purpose does achieving this expectation serve for you?" He felt that since he was in business, he should know how to play golf even though he had no real interest in playing. Like this client, more often than not, you'll often find that you have set unrealistic expectations for yourself.
It's time to free yourself from "I should" expectations that you have consciously or subconsciously reinforced into your life and create space for the "I choose to's.” To help you with this, I welcome you to learn more about my Saboteur to Sage program, where you can learn to create a healthier inner dialog and live a more fulfilling life.