How to Stop Negative Self-Talk - Lessons from a Life Coach

We are all guilty of negative self-talk, but that doesn’t mean we should get a free pass for inflicting physiological pain on ourselves.

You know, that familiar voice in your head that beats you up by pointing out your mistakes and shortcomings, warns you about future risks, and keeps you fixated on what’s wrong. Although we like to think that negative self-talk helps keep ourselves in check, you may even believe that you deserve the reprimand. The truth is, no good can come from negative self-talk. It creates feelings of stress, anxiety, anger, shame, unhappiness, and regret. Numerous studies have shown that continuous negative self-talk can affect your body, mental state, and even those around you. As they say, “misery loves company.”

Even though I am an international and certified life coach, I, too, am guilty of negative self-talk. I have learned to quiet the noise and replace negative thoughts with positive, self-promoting, and empathetic self-talk. Of course, negative self-talk will never go away, but you can learn how to minimize the impact and learn techniques to counteract negative thoughts and feelings with positive ones.

I will share tips that have helped me overcome my inner critic with the hopes that you’ll find these tips helpful in quieting your negative self-talk.

1. Keep yourself accountable

Every time you have a negative thought, call yourself out. Would you say the same thing to someone you love or allow someone else to talk about someone you care about in that way? Probably not. So, why should you get away with it?

The more you can bring awareness to what you say and how often you’re saying these negative thought patterns, the faster you can start to disarm the effects.

Remember:
You are human, and mistakes are inevitable.
You are perfectly imperfect.
Find the gifts and opportunities in all situations.
Negative self-talk has no place in your reality.


2. Name your inner critic.

Once you get familiar with identifying negative self-talk, you can further disassociate with it by naming it. So, when your pesky uninvited inner critic comes to play, say, for example, “Sorry, Darth Vader, you’re not invited and what you have to say has no place here.”

What will you name your inner critic?

3. Activate positivity

Counteract negative self-talk with authentic empathy, love, and compassion. Because negative self-talk has been engineered as a habit over decades, it will take time for your brain to disconnect the habit and replace your go-to negative thought patterns with positive ones, but in time, you can rewire your brain to do just that. Reciting positive affirmations can help this process and activate positivity.

What are some positive affirmations you can write down today and refer to regularly?

4. Be present

When negative thoughts arise, direct your attention to the present moment. I rub my thumb and index finger together. When I do this, I feel the sensations of my skin’s texture and temperature. You can use many different techniques to get the same effect, focusing on anything sensory that can help.

Find a practice that works best for you and integrate it into your day by doing it several times a day.

5. Seek help

There is no shame in seeking professional help when overcoming damaging self-talk. Make sure you do your research and select a certified and capable professional.

For example, I am a certified Life Coach and a practicing Positive Intelligence PQ Coach. This affiliation allows me to help clients overcome their inner critics with my 6-week app-drive program. In my program, Saboteur to Sage, you’ll learn how to implement life-changing methods that activate parts of your brain responsible for positivity and happiness. You’ll be amazed at how life can look and feel when you disarm your inner critic.

If you are interested in learning more about my program, click the button below. If you have questions, please contact me at deborah@e3lifecoach.com.

Thank you for reading and don’t forget to give yourself a big hug for taking time for yourself.

Saboteur to Sage